Still a slave, if a very strong one, Conan is thrust into the gladiator pit. Natural talent for hurting foes makes him a success, convincing his keepers to send him to the East to learn the ancient arts of fighting. Quickly becoming a formidable killing machine (with some tuition in women and writing), Conan is unexpectedly released (which is the last we hear of his captors). One thought only lies uppermost in his mind, that of revenge for his parent's bloody slaughter. Trekking into the wilderness, Conan soon links up with master thieves Valeria (Sandahl Bergman) and Subota (Gerry Lopez).
Together they carry out a spot of burglary from the dominant snake cult, which Conan finds is linked to his nemesis Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). No further motive is required for Conan, eager to ride off to Doom's mountain retreat where thousands of brain-washed converts await. However, their illegal exploits catch the attention of King Osrik (Max Von Sydow) and he decides to give the gang a lucrative proposition. His beloved daughter has joined Doom and he wants her returned to the safety of his royal bosom. The only problem is that Doom's hordes will willingly die for him, which makes the idea of a direct approach somewhat suicidal. Then again, sword-play is Conan's forte.
Conan the Barbarian is perhaps mostly remembered as the film which thrust Arnie to the fore, essentially establishing a character that he's replayed countless times. Beyond this, Conan the Barbarian is an entertaining slab of fantasy, free from the self-referential jokes of later Arnie flicks and independent of his presence as the sole selling point. The land which Conan inhabits is unsophisticated, free of contemporary moral dilemmas and true to the original strip of Robert E. Howard. This leaves plenty of room for massed battles, bloody mayhem and decapitation. Although, as a respite, there is a surprisingly strong erotic thread which runs in parallel to the violence. Behind this action there lies some excellent sets and worthwhile special effects, giving Conan the Barbarian the feel of real quality.
In contrast, the script, dialogue and roles are, maybe intentionally, crudely worked. The lengthy set-up which gives the background for Arnie's appearance is astoundingly predictable and quite superfluous. Still, at least some effort has been made to add depth to Conan, which is more than can be said for anyone else. The characters, particularly Valeria's, are straight out of adolescent dreams. Valeria is strictly a make-believe female, just like a man but with a little extra something. Jones makes a fine stab at his villain though, adding a certain evil gravitas. No one else performs memorably or is given lines which rise above the mediocre but then that's not the point of Conan the Barbarian. It's a straightforward, if overlong, tale which aspires to no higher station.